Milton desk · United Kingdom · since 2019
Controlpacketgrid trains product operators to treat app analytics as a designed surface: named events, honest retention, and instrumentation that still reads after the next release. We do not sell charts. We teach the grammar behind them.
Now in term
A studio term for people who already ship apps and are tired of events that mean two things by Friday. You will rebuild a taxonomy, defend a retention surface, and leave with a written instrumentation charter your engineers can actually implement.
Read the modulesHouse position
A metric that cannot survive a sceptical product meeting is decoration.
We will not teach you to “move North Star” as a personality. Controlpacketgrid is a United Kingdom teaching desk for app analytics: how to name a packet, how to keep a grid of properties from rotting, and how to read the people who never open a support ticket.
Operators arrive with warehouses already humming and still cannot say, without hedging, whether activation is a session, a day, or a lie. That gap is the work. The programmes stay small on purpose — last winter’s evening clinic held nine seats, and two of those were observers from the same fintech.
If you want a vendor certification or a paid-media attribution course, this is the wrong address. If you want your next release to leave a cleaner trail than the last, start with the programme list or the Telemetry Atlas.
From the journal
A taxonomy is a social contract. The database will forgive a messy column; a product meeting will not.
Churn is often a quiet week, not a dramatic uninstall. The trace still speaks if you know where to sit.
One London marketplace paid for a year of growth work against a definition that included staff accounts.
Letters from operators
The taxonomy week was uncomfortable in a useful way. We retired fourteen events that had been inflating “engagement” since 2023. I still argue with our data lead about property casing, which the studio would probably call a healthy sign.
Clearer retention language than our last consultancy. Would have liked a longer SQL appendix; they stay in the product layer on purpose.
A term, unhurried
You arrive with a live app, not a hypothetical. Week one produces a written packet charter: what you will count, what you will ignore, and who is allowed to add a name.
Mid-term is construction. Properties are disciplined. Session grain is separated from user grain. A retention surface is drawn that a sceptical PM can attack.
The last fortnight is a viva: you present the grid to the room. Guests from the United Kingdom cohort ask unkind questions. That is the point of a small studio.
Quiet invitation
Fees are listed without a checkout. Intakes are numbered, not unlimited.